


Don't Ever Change

by wolfie_winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5079313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfie_winchester/pseuds/wolfie_winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean had always thought time travel would be pretty cool. Leave it to the angels to prove him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Ever Change

**Author's Note:**

> I was debating whether or not to tag this as temporary or major character death, because they die, but not really (you'll see what I mean), so I just tagged it as both to be safe.

Dean can’t help but wonder if he’s ever going to make it back to his own time. He’d always thought the concept of time travel was cool, but this wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. The future isn’t all hoverboards and holograms like everybody wishes it could be. Instead, the future is bleak and desolate, swarming with infected that want nothing more than to gnaw your face off. How his future self managed to keep it together is a mystery in itself, though if Dean knows himself - and he likes to think he does - then his future self probably only acts like he has it together. Inside, Dean’s sure he’s just as freaked as everyone else.

 

When a day turns into a week of Dean being stuck here, he starts to worry. Panic, is more like it. He needs to find Zachariah and make the son of a bitch zap him back to his own time, but if what future Cas said is true, then most of the angels have left and Dean’s betting that the douche isn’t going to show himself anytime soon. He wonders if prayers reach across time and he tries praying to Cas - his Cas - to get him back, but the most he ever gets is this wistful look from future Cas, like he wishes he could help him.

 

And that’s another thing that bothers him about this already screwed up future. Castiel, who Dean is used to being an uptight yet somewhat endearing pain in the ass angel, is anything but. With his grace all but gone, he’s given in to drugs and sex to fill his free time and for some reason, it upsets Dean on a level he can’t quite understand. He’s caught Cas in his cabin on more than one occasion either passed out drunk on the crappy excuse for a couch  he has or high as the clouds, his eyes somehow less brighter than usual. It makes Dean’s heart ache and he finds himself vowing that he’ll never let his Cas sink this far.

 

One day, his future self calls together his ragtag group in order to assign them another mission. They’re running low on supplies again and even though it’s a risk, he assures them all that they have enough guns and ammo to risk a trip into the city. Risa is reluctant to go, afraid that it’s a hopeless effort but future Dean insists that they have no other options. Chuck seems resigned to it like always and Cas just shrugs, accepting the task put on him without argument. Dean stands there a bit out of place, unsure of what to do.

 

“You coming?” other Dean asks.

 

“I guess?” he replies.

 

“You really think that’s wise?” Cas says, glancing between the two of them. “I mean, he’s you, so if he dies, then you will too. I mean, theoretically.”

 

Future Dean looks at him and then at his past self, thinking. Eventually though, he shakes his head.

 

“We’d do better with one more guy. And I don’t think he’s stupid enough to get himself killed,” he says. Cas sighs and doesn’t say anything, but his eyes plead with Dean to not go. On some level, he still cares, even if most days Cas acts like he couldn’t care less what happens anymore.

 

The rest of them head out to get ready but Cas stays behind, his feet propped up on the table where they have a map of the surrounding areas spread out. Dean licks his lips and looks down at the fallen angel.

 

“Do you have to go?” Cas asks quietly. “I know what he said, but...you should stay here.”

 

“Cas, until I figure out how to get back to my own time, I’m stuck here. Might as well make myself useful.”

 

“You’re not much use dead,” Cas snaps. That’s another thing Dean has to get used to. Cas is much less shy about reserving himself emotionally.

 

“I won’t die,” Dean says and he’s not sure if he’s trying to reassure Cas or himself. Zachariah wouldn’t let him die here, right? He’s Michael’s vessel, the only hope they have against Lucifer. Even if he’s a dick, there’s no way the angel would let him die. At least not permanently.

 

“You don’t know what’s out there, Dean. The world became a much scarier place after Sam said yes to Lucifer.”

 

“I know. When I get back, I’m gonna make sure none of this ever happens. You’ll see.”

 

“If you change the future, I suppose I won’t,” Cas says, smirking like the smartass he knows he is. Dean rolls his eyes and smiles. At least this Cas has some kind of sense of humor.

 

Cas gets up and treks off to his own cabin. To prepare or to smoke a joint before they go, Dean isn’t sure. He follows anyway, for lack of anywhere else to be and is surprised to see Cas with himself. Future Dean is standing in the doorway with Cas. They’re awfully close, Dean can’t help but notice.

 

_It’s a messed up thing we got going on, me and him._

 

That’s what he said when Dean first saw Cas in this future world. He wonders what exactly that ‘thing’ is. The longer he stands there watching though, the more sure he becomes of what it is. When he sees his future self grab Cas roughly and shove him back into the cabin, their lips locked together, Dean blushes, but he isn’t surprised. He’s always known deep down that he harbored feelings for the angel that were more than platonic. He finds it a little reassuring that at least he finally admitted it in the future.

 

Later, when they’re stocking up the trucks and other Dean is barking out orders to the group, Dean sees Cas flirting with some girl he’s seen hanging around. She’s not bad looking, he supposes, but he feels a flare of anger on his future self’s behalf. Not two hours ago, they’d been together and now Cas is blatantly chatting up this girl and future Dean is doing nothing to stop it.

 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Dean snaps, a little more harshly than he means to. Cas and the girl both look up at him and the girl rolls her eyes, putting a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

 

“We’re just talking,” she says.

 

“Looked like you were doing a little more than that,” Dean replies.

 

“Like you care. Cas doesn’t have a problem with it, do you, angel?” she asks.

 

Cas shrugs and Dean finds himself angry and...confused. He thought that he and Cas were a thing. He glances over at where the other Dean is climbing into the truck at the front and starting it up. When he looks over and sees Cas and the girl together, he barely even spares a glance before gesturing for Chuck to climb into the passenger seat.

 

“Come back safe, Cas,” the girl says while Dean is distracted. She leans up and kisses him on the mouth, all tongue and sloppiness and Dean’s jaw clenches, jealousy and anger flaring up in him. Without even realizing it, he’s pulling her off the fallen angel.

 

“What’s your problem?” she snaps.

 

“You sticking your tongue down his throat is my problem,” Dean replies just as angry.

 

“Since when do you care?”

 

Dean opens his mouth to argue, but that’s when the other Dean comes over, glaring at the three of them.

 

“What’s taking so long?” he asks gruffly.

 

“Ask him,” she says, pointing at Dean. “Your past self is a douche.”

 

She storms off without another word and Dean glances between himself and Cas.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you? We’re getting ready to head out and you’re starting fights with people,” he accuses.

 

“I didn’t do anything! She started it by kissing him!”

 

“So?”

 

“ _So_ , I thought Cas was...you know...sleeping with...you,” he says, trailing off at the end as a blush works its way up his neck. Future Dean only gives him a ‘so what’ look.

 

“Cas is sleeping with everyone,” he says casually. “Guy’s gotta have some way to blow off steam.”

 

“But...”

 

“What?”

 

“We’re - you’re not - you two aren’t?”

 

“What, together? I told you, it’s a messed up thing we’ve got going on,” he says. Cas looks a little hurt at those words but he doesn’t say anything, instead he wanders away to one of the trucks, shoulders slumped. Dean feels a pang in his chest at the sight and he rounds on his other self.

 

“Cas deserves better. You know how we feel about him. Why haven’t you told him?”

 

“Because it’s easier that way.”

 

“How could it possibly be easier?”

 

Some of the anger falls away from his future self’s expression, leaving behind something pained in its place.

 

“Because it won’t hurt as much when he dies.”

 

The words make Dean’s heart stop momentarily and he looks down at the ground.

 

“Any more questions?” his future self asks, all angry rough exterior again. Dean shakes his head. “Good. Let’s get moving.”

* * *

 

There are more Croats in the city than anticipated. His future self is beyond pissed at the new development but he’s more focused on getting them back alive than he is anything else. Dean is running as fast as he can and he can hear the screams of the infected behind him. Cas is keeping pace with him until he goes down hard, tripping over a body in the road. He skids and rolls to a stop and the others keep going with only a regretful glance back. Dean can almost forgive them. In this environment, it’s every person for themselves.

 

But Dean stops and he kneels to pick Cas up. The fallen angel winces, his ankle twisted and his shins bleeding through his dirty jeans. Dean swears, knowing that they won’t make it back to the trucks in time. He can already hear them starting up. He kind of hopes that his future self will come back for him and Cas, because he isn’t entirely sure Zachariah will rescue him from being eaten by zombies.

 

“Get out of here!” Cas shouts, shoving him hard and stumbling back to the ground. Dean just wraps his arms around him and drags him along. Cas looks behind them to where the Croats are gaining more ground and he places a desperate hand on Dean’s shoulder.

 

“Cas, I’m not-”

 

“Dammit, Dean, run! I won’t let you down again. I can’t. If you die here...” Cas shakes his head and shoves him again. “Go!”

 

Dean starts to go, his legs instinctively carrying him away from the danger, but he can’t stop looking back as the Croats close in on his angel. Cas takes out a gun and starts shooting, but there are too many of them and Cas is only one man.

 

“Screw it,” Dean mutters and pulls out his own gun. He puts a bullet in the head of the Croat attempting to get Cas from behind and then he empties the gun into the others swarming them. Cas looks over and he looks surprised, relieved, and angry all at once. Dean shrugs and they go back to shooting at will. But eventually, they run out of bullets and the gunfire has drawn others out of hiding. Dean curses and grabs Cas, tugging him along with the other limping on his bad ankle.

 

“Dean, we’re really not gonna make it this time,” Cas says. Dean looks up and sees the trucks moving out, another group of Croats chasing after it before it leaves them in the dust. Dean looks around, assessing the situation and then guides Cas into the nearest building. The building is mostly falling apart but they can hide here for now. The store looks like it used to sell guns, but predictably, any kind of ammunition has already been raided.

 

“Is it broken?” Dean whispers, gently feeling Cas’ ankle. Cas hisses in pain but he shakes his head.

 

“No, I think it’s just twisted. I’ll be fine. I’ve had worse,” Cas says, reminding Dean yet again of what a crappy job he’s done at protecting Cas in this future.

 

They can hear groaning and the occasional scream of the infected outside their building and Dean positions himself closer to the doors and windows, blocking Cas with his body. He tenses when he sees one of them shuffling past the doorway. There’s not even a door to separate them from the outside world and he just prays that the thing doesn’t notice them.

 

When the Croat walks past them without a glance inside, Dean breathes a sigh of relief. Behind him, Cas swears and Dean turns, expecting to find one of the creatures behind him. But Cas is looking at his arm where it’s cut open and bleeding. It looks different than any injury Dean has seen, with black veins spider webbing up Cas’ arm.

 

“I’m infected,” Cas whispers. He looks up at Dean with wide eyes and for the first time, he sees pure fear in those baby blues. It breaks his heart and he wants nothing more than to hold Cas and tell him it’ll be okay, but the second he tries, Cas flinches away.

 

“Don’t touch me, Dean.” he says.

 

“I can’t get infected unless there’s blood to blood contact, Cas. Remember?”

 

Cas just shakes his head. “Too risky. Just...leave me here. I’ll...I’ll figure something out.”

 

Dean knows that means Cas is going to find some way to kill himself so he doesn’t become like the creatures outside and he can’t do it. He can’t leave Cas scared and alone surrounded by monsters.

 

“I’m not leaving you.”

 

“I forgot how stubborn you were back then,” Cas snarks. “You’re going to die if you stay with me.”

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Dean repeats, not budging on the subject. “You’re my friend, Cas. Hell, you should be a lot more than that after everything that’s happened.”

 

“Then as my friend, please, go. I won’t be able to stand it if something happens to you,” Cas pleads. “Dean, _please_.”

 

“No.”

 

“Then if you’re not going to leave me, at least help me find some way to stop me from becoming one of them.”

 

“You mean kill you.” Just saying the words make Dean want to throw up. He doesn’t think he can do it. Not even if he had a gun with bullets in it.

 

“Yes. You still have a knife. I’m sure you can find a way,” Cas says. “Just make sure you don’t get any of my blood in you.”

 

“Cas, I’m not going to stab you or - or whatever the hell you think I’m going to do. I’m not killing you.”

 

“You have to.”

 

“ _I can’t_.” Dean closes his eyes and tries to ignore the way his chest feels tight, like he can’t get enough air. “I can’t do it, Cas. I love you. I can’t just...stab you and go on with my life.”

 

“You what?”

 

“I...I love you. I’m sorry I never told you. I’m sorry I haven’t treated you right. It’s my fault you’re here. It’s my fault I haven’t told you how important you are to me. You fell for me, Cas. You rebelled and all Sam and I have ever done is use you like you’re some magical ace in the hole.”

 

Cas is staring at him with wide, shining eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean continues, taking Cas by the shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Castiel.”

 

The fallen angel blinks and the tears in his eyes spill over. He smiles and Dean thinks it’s the first time he’s seen a genuine one since he got to this twisted place.

 

“It’s been so long since you called me that,” he whispers. “I missed you, Dean.”

 

Dean, acting before he can think whether or not it’s a good idea, pulls Cas in and kisses him, desperate and frantic - their hands grasping wherever they can, because this might be the last time for this Cas. He wishes they weren’t here, that they were back at camp where Dean could show him how much he really loves him, but already, Cas is starting to push him away.

 

“I love you too, Dean. And that’s why I’m sorry you have to see this,” Cas says.

 

“What are you-”

 

His eyes widen when he sees the knife - his knife - in Cas’ hands. The angel turns the blade in on himself and before Dean can stop him, he drives it into his chest. Dean cries out and doesn’t care if the Croats outside hear him. He pulls Cas close, tries to stop the bleeding but Cas pushes at him weakly.

 

“No,” he croaks. “Infected.”

 

Dean shakes his head, hands pressing around Cas’ wound anyway.

 

“Don’t care. I don’t care, Cas.” Dean chokes on a sob and Cas just smiles sadly up at him. The sight of it breaks Dean’s heart and he runs a shaky hand through the angel’s hair. He leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead. “I love you,” he whispers. “I love you, so much.”

 

“Love you,” Cas says weakly. Blood drips from his mouth and Dean trembles as he watches Cas’ eyes close. Cas stops breathing and Dean sits there numbly, staring down at him like he can’t believe his own eyes. When the reality that Cas is gone hits him, he closes his eyes tightly, cradling the lifeless angel in his arms and shaking with the force of his cries.

 

“Well. That isn’t what I expected, but I suppose it’ll do.”

 

Dean opens his eyes and his vision is blurred. He wipes the tears away and that’s when he sees Zachariah standing there staring at him with something like amusement. Dean looks down at his hands. They’re clean, not an ounce of Cas’ blood on them and he’s standing in his crappy motel room instead of kneeling in a rundown gun store with a dead angel in his arms.

 

“Wh-what was that.”

 

“You know exactly what, Dean. It’s your future. Castiel’s future, if you don’t say yes to Michael.”

 

Dean stares at him and swallows hard. He wants to be angry, but more than anything, he just wants to see Cas alive. He realizes then, that Zachariah doesn’t have to be right. If he changes, if he does things differently, maybe he can save Cas and still keep himself from becoming Michael’s meat suit.

 

“No.”

 

“Come again?”

 

“I said, answer’s still no.”

 

“No? After everything you saw, after you watched Castiel die in your arms, you’re still saying no?”

 

“That’s right. That future won’t come true if I have anything to say about it,” Dean says. “And you better believe that we’ll do it without playing by your rules.”

 

Zachariah stares at him in disbelief before it quickly turns to something like smugness.

 

“Oh Dean. You seem to forget that I’m the one with the power here. You’ll say yes, one way or another. Even if I have to torture it out of you.”

 

The angel steps forward and Dean takes a step back before the world spins dizzyingly and he’s standing on the side of the road. He looks around, confused as to how he got here, when he sees Cas there, bright eyed and definitely alive.

 

“Nice timing, Cas,” he manages.

 

“We had an appointment,” Cas replies, smiling slightly. Dean, unable to stop himself, pulls the angel into a tight hug. Cas’ arms remain by his sides and he seems confused but Dean just squeezes him harder, burying his face in the angel’s coat.

 

“Don’t ever change.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a _The Last of Us_ crossover, but then it kind of just turned into this. I'm also procrastinating working on my multi-chapter fic because I'm a horrible person.


End file.
